Growing up I always said I wanted a big family. 5 kids was my normal response....until I had one. I cant even complain because Jake was such a happy, easy baby who slept all the time but it still turned my world upside down. Fast forward two and half years when I found out I was expecting again I nearly went into panic mode. How in the world was I going to care for two kids and maintain our house at the same time when I was struggling with only one?!?! I went through the house room by room de-cluttering and organizing and fixing every tiny scratch on all the walls. I wanted everything to be perfect before this new baby came into our lives. I wanted to be one step ahead of the chaos.
Well that got exhausting and overwhelming in a hurry. Amelia was born and I took a couple weeks off, not lifting a finger while my mom was here taking care of all the household chores and cooking. When she left I was determined to keep up the amazingly high standard that she had created for us while she was here. I nearly ran myself ragged that first week alone trying to keep up with everything...laundry, diapers, dishes, cooking real meals from scratch...not boxes from the freezer. Because good moms only cook real food don't they?
I was going to end up in a mental institution if I didn't give myself a break. I realized that I was going to have to lower my standards a bit. We didn't need to live in squalor...but my house is never again going to look like something from the pages of Martha Stewart living...or pinterest.
Thank goodness I am married to a man who doesn't say much about the state of our home, at least not until we get that dreaded call that someone is coming to visit...and then he helps my shove the clutter into the dryer, oven, or anywhere else that we can stash it temporarily.
I had to find a routine that would keep things in order, but not end up killing me. A client of mine told me before baby number two was born that having another would make me more organized. She was spot on. I could get behind on things with one child and eventually I would catch back up but if I get behind with two children and a husband to pick up after, I think our family would be featured on the next season of Hoarders. I would be the one buried under piles of broken John Deere toys, dishes and cloth diapers.
I decided that if we were going to make this work without me being stressed out and feeling like a failure that I would do one thing a day. Besides dishes because, lets face it, if you leave those sit around it just gets worse and takes more time when you do finally get around to them. I don't schedule it like I have seen other homemakers do though. We go with the flow. I do the bathrooms once or twice a week, I choose these days based on when Jake decides to try standing up to pee. I do laundry as needed, I sweep once or twice a week. Kitchen gets a quick once over ever morning while the breakfast skillet is warming up. I gave myself a break on food too. I was only cooking these beautiful, complicated paleo meals and it was too much all at once. Now, I cook eggs in some form every morning, maybe once a week we will just do cereal or fruit. I also cook a real diner most nights. Last night was crazy so I sent Paul to pick up pizza on his way home from work and I don't feel bad about it. And lunches...who cares if my toddler has peanut butter sandwiches 3 days in a row, at least he is eating something better than McDonald's.
We will all survive. Everything doesn't have to be picture perfect all the time because that is just unrealistic. So this is how I get by. I also once in a while, when the stars align just right, get to take a nap during the day. I take all the time I need to enjoy my kids and share their childhood with them. We read books, listen to music, and (gasp) watch a lot of tv- but we are doing it together and that matters more to me than anything.
